You will find that most mothers are afflicted with a disease. The disease is called guilt. The guilt may start while you are still pregnant – maybe you shouldn’t have had that last glass of wine, it could be bad for the baby. Next the delivery room could be the cause of even more guilt. You should have been able to cope without the Pethidine or Epidural, never mind the Caesarean.  Once you leave hospital it really gets worse as baby should sleep better at night and maybe you should really try breastfeeding.

The fact is that the guilt just grows as you child grows. Shouldn’t little Johnny be potty trained already; why is he still sucking a dummy? Have other toddlers reached their milestones before him.

Working moms feel that they have robbed their children of a good old fashioned upbringing by working outside of the home, even thought their contribution to the household finances is of great value. Stay at home moms may feel that their children have not been exposed to enough socialization and education as they would have been if they had attended a nursery school from an early age, and yet they benefitted greatly by their mother’s constant attention. Sufferers of the disease of guilt constantly need to justify their own actions and try to compare their own shortcomings to those of others.

Working moms would love to stay at home with their children like the woman next door, while she is feeling inadequate as she sees how well those working moms cope with having a career and a family.
Unfortunately the disease can spread to those in positions of fatherhood, but often only much later on when the children are almost grown. Then fathers look back and wish that they had spent more time with their children while they were growing up. 

Why don’t we just try to accept our lives and our circumstances and be grateful for what we have. We should stop feeling guilty for what is not there and try to just make what we have, work. As long as we are giving our children the best we can, things will work out just fine. We should try to make every minute with them worth remembering no matter how ordinary those minutes are.  Just asking Johnny to peel the potatoes for dinner while you prepare the rest of the food can be a treasured memory, since you could use this time to chat about his day and connect on so many levels.

My advice is to try to live your life guilt free. Let those wonderful children see how you enjoy your life and set them free from the trap of guilt too. Teach them how to live a wonderful life. Live for the moment and enjoy it.