| As 2010 draws to an end you may be experiencing mixed feelings of sadness, irritability, excitement, failure, hope, exhaustion, and unfulfilled expectations Your children are trying to make sense of feelings of uncertainty, loss, and excitement that the end of a school year brings and will mirror your way of coping at this time. It is important that you make a plan for you and your family so that the transition into next year is smooth. |
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Knowing what you and your family need, and being able to ask for help are key. Begin, by finding ways of reducing stress and creating peace and quiet in the home. As many children are writing exams at the moment, stop extra mural activities and unnecessary travelling.
Learn to say NO THANK YOU to some end of year functions, parties and events that are piling up.
A peaceful home exists when everyone feels heard and the needs of all family members are being met. Allow your children to express their feelings of anxiety, sadness and loss, holding them gently. Crying can be a stress release for you all.
Choose to be the hero in the family and stop fighting in front of the children. Accommodate your ex over the holiday period so your children can have fun with both their parents, and avoid arguing with your children over untidy rooms, lack of time management, or a sassy attitude. Rather find ways to be creative, supportive, and help your youngsters with their studies.
This may have been a particularly difficult year for you, your partner or one of your children, and feelings of helplessness and hopelessness seem to pervade the home. Why is this happening to me? What is the point? Why bother? My life is over may be questions you’re asking over and over, unable to find a way out of the throes of depression. Thoughts of ending your life may seem the only way to deal with the despair, and while quitting may be tempting you will leave a legacy of anger, guilt, and abandonment. As Viktor Frankl author of ‘Man’s Search for Meaning’ states: “Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.”
None of us can predict the future and so it is vital to choose to seek out those professionals you need to walk us through the darkenss, as one day you might feel differently to the way we feel today. As you seek professional help for a broken limb, you should seek professional help for a wounded spirit.
Speak to your doctor or paediatrician about your feelings or those of your child. Find a reputable psychiatrist who can prescribe the correct medication and dosage if needed. Talk about your feelings or encourage your child/partner to chat to a religious leader, psychologist, counsellor, at least once or twice a week.
Contact:
- Life Line 0861 322 322
- Childline 0800 055 555
- National Adolescent suicide hotline 1 800 621 4000
- SA Depression and Anxiety Group 0800 567 567
- Compassionate Friends (Support for parents who have lost a child) 011 440 6322
- Women Abuse 0800 150 150
- Emergency contraception Hotline 0800 246 432
Other ways to beat the melancholy during the holidays is exercising or walking, writing your feelings down, caring for a pet, doing charity work, eating healthy foods, hosting a holiday meal for those less fortunate, doing something you enjoyed as a child such as dancing, painting, acting, cycling, or sewing.
While you cannot control what happens to you or your family, you can choose “how you will respond to the situation." — Viktor Frankl.
I wish you a peaceful end to 2010 with advice from Dr. Phil: “The past is over. The future hasn't happened yet. The only time is now.”
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